Let me just start out with this disclaimer that this is NOT A SEXUAL POST.
Over the 25 years of experience in my life I have realized that boys shower stupid. I've witnessed this event many times in my life (and to spare everyone I'll just go ahead and put out there that this is all through my countless times of baby-sitting, and locker rooms on the swim team where most shower were taken with swimsuits on as to soap out the chlorine in the suit and not just some sort of steamy X-rated image you can all burn your retinas on- but occasionally those too)
As I was saying, boys shower stupid. Yeah sure they can get the basics down, but there are doing one VERY important thing wrong. Now.. again, I haven't taken too many showers with women but I'm gonna go ahead and just bet that 98% of women do this task correctly just based on gender..
Ok-- so i'm in the shower.. and i'm suds-ing up my hair (yay shampoo that smells like fruit!) and this is the easy part. Most everyone can manage this.. but then the hard part. RISING!
Can someone please tell me why there is a genetic difference in rinsing!? For me (and again i'm assuming 98% of all other women like myself.. tilt their head back and let the water reach JUUUUST to the brow and let all the soapy water run down their scalp, back, and eventually down to the drain.
Boys, do NOT do this. Somewhere along the lines, someone taught boys that they should tilt their head DOWN dace into the stream leaving an endless run of soapy burning water RIGHT INTO THEIR EYES! Then once this happens they reach out like some sort of crazy Frankenstein reaching for a towel to wipe their eyes. If they're brace they may just give a hard wipe to the eyes and then spend two minutes whining about "how it burns!"
So I'd seriously love some feedback. WHY DO THEY DO THIS?! I've literally been standing there watching this about to happen yelling NO DONT! JUST TILT YOUR HEAD BAAACK NOT FORWARD!!! and nothing. They just dont listen. It is just genetics? One father teachers his son to do this and so on and so forth!?
Can we remedy this unneccessary pain and stupidity?! Can we really together as women and mothers, girlfriends, and baby sitters and change the world!?
A Girl Who Needs No Introduction...
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
So Thanks for the Cake...
Today I attended the funeral for Mr. Thomas Donahue. Sadly, I never knew him as Tom Donahue- to me he was simply Mr. D.
Mr. D was a fellow firefighter with my father on the Hammond FD but he was more than that. Mr. D was the best substitute gym teacher an elementary school kid could ask for! Screw the plan! Screw the Billy Ray Cyrus electric slide video we were SUPPOSED to learn. Screw the big and little arm circles that Richard Simmons Sweat the the Oldies. Mr. D was all about hardcore gym fun.
Mr. D was about dodgeball, and those rediculous scooters that you had to move by turning the large handles side to side rapidly! Mr. D was about democracy and he let us US have a vote. He let US choose what to do for our 60 minutes of required activity. This man was about Freedom!
Even better was that Mr. D took a special liking to me since he worked with my father. The year we moved from Hammond I suppose my dad was telling him how I was having a hard time adjusting and April comes around and what does he do? He has my dad call me to the firestation for and I walk in to find that he bakes me a cake! A damn good one too! That shit had chocolate swirls! (So much for physical fitness!)
Today I spend 2 hours watching a few hundred firefghters, family, and friends make their way past a casket and pay their last respects. I watched my dad stand tall for Honor Guard.
I hugged his wife and told her "I'm so sorry", I hugged his son JT and said " you and your family are in my prayers, and I winked through tears at Mr. D and said "thanks for the cake..."
Mr. D was a fellow firefighter with my father on the Hammond FD but he was more than that. Mr. D was the best substitute gym teacher an elementary school kid could ask for! Screw the plan! Screw the Billy Ray Cyrus electric slide video we were SUPPOSED to learn. Screw the big and little arm circles that Richard Simmons Sweat the the Oldies. Mr. D was all about hardcore gym fun.
Mr. D was about dodgeball, and those rediculous scooters that you had to move by turning the large handles side to side rapidly! Mr. D was about democracy and he let us US have a vote. He let US choose what to do for our 60 minutes of required activity. This man was about Freedom!
Even better was that Mr. D took a special liking to me since he worked with my father. The year we moved from Hammond I suppose my dad was telling him how I was having a hard time adjusting and April comes around and what does he do? He has my dad call me to the firestation for and I walk in to find that he bakes me a cake! A damn good one too! That shit had chocolate swirls! (So much for physical fitness!)
Today I spend 2 hours watching a few hundred firefghters, family, and friends make their way past a casket and pay their last respects. I watched my dad stand tall for Honor Guard.
I hugged his wife and told her "I'm so sorry", I hugged his son JT and said " you and your family are in my prayers, and I winked through tears at Mr. D and said "thanks for the cake..."
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
My Not So First Day at Work..
Over the years I've had a few people question the validity of the work-related stories I have told. People figure that one job cannot simply produce all the mayhem that I've endured- and I used to think it was just the Hammond cluster that was subjected to this ridiculousness and have recently realized- it must be me.
I've been working with WLS for a little over 6 years now and held a management position for 2 1/2 of those so I've had my fair share of events. Yes I've evacuated from a flood, multiple fires, a few too many ambulance calls, too many power outages, and my fair share of "hey security? I have some hookers in the lobby..."
I guess God didnt want me to get rusty at my new property so he went full force on me on my second day of work, but my first day alone.
My shift started at 7am and I'm immedately thrown on the front desk. Thank GOD that this is a pretty awesome comfort zone for me. I have NO problem making/taking/breaking reservations, answering phones (although I know I said Hammond a few times by mistake) and handling various customers. The only tricky part is... i dont know where everything actually IS. All in all no big deal.
7:15am I look over and realize that there is icecream dripping out of the fridge in the gift shop and everything is DARK. Great! I figure hey-- no problem it's probably just a breaker that popped. Problem- where the hell is the breaker for it? CRAAAP! So I call my hero Herman in maintainence and he quickly resolves issues number one. Unfortunately for us during all this Becky my cafe supervisor comes over to tell me that the freezer unit we JUST had fixed is now holding temp at 70 degrees. Not so hot (err cold) for a freezer. So we scurry to call Rent a Center to get back the one we had the previous week and move all the product to the other freezer before we lose temp and we have to throw it out.
7:30 ish I start getting the housekeeping assignments for the day and realize that with the impromptu group of Nipsco guys (30 rooms for 3 nights!) that came in unexpectedly last night I'm already understaffed by 1 person when I get a call off from one of my housekeepers. Bummer. I am now down 2.
7:40ish I get a call from the laundry attendant stating that a belt broke on our industrial size dryer. Fantastic. Herman gets called to the rescue again.
Meanwhile I get a power outage flicker that was not devastating but just enough to make it neccessary to reboot my entire computer system and set me back on RE-making the housekeeping assignments after the call off. During this reboot I decide it's probably best to give my GM a heads up on the mornings activities. She of course is fantastic and says that she'll come in and help clean rooms (what a saint!) but we decide to see if we can call anyone in from another hotel first.
Multiple phone calls later there is NO one that will come in to help us and my my phone rings with oh yes, the SECOND housekeeper calling off. What does this mean?! This means that I am now down THREE people and my poor 7 month pregnant housekeeper who WAS scheduled to inspect will now have to clean rooms and I will have to inspect after my desk shift.
FML. A couple more power flickers later and I can inspect a ton of rooms and go home.
What awaited me the next day?! Oh yes, two more housekeepers called off so my GM and I got to clean a board of 12 rooms.
Not bad for my first day alone.. besides it was just another day in the life of a Hotel Manager..
I've been working with WLS for a little over 6 years now and held a management position for 2 1/2 of those so I've had my fair share of events. Yes I've evacuated from a flood, multiple fires, a few too many ambulance calls, too many power outages, and my fair share of "hey security? I have some hookers in the lobby..."
I guess God didnt want me to get rusty at my new property so he went full force on me on my second day of work, but my first day alone.
My shift started at 7am and I'm immedately thrown on the front desk. Thank GOD that this is a pretty awesome comfort zone for me. I have NO problem making/taking/breaking reservations, answering phones (although I know I said Hammond a few times by mistake) and handling various customers. The only tricky part is... i dont know where everything actually IS. All in all no big deal.
7:15am I look over and realize that there is icecream dripping out of the fridge in the gift shop and everything is DARK. Great! I figure hey-- no problem it's probably just a breaker that popped. Problem- where the hell is the breaker for it? CRAAAP! So I call my hero Herman in maintainence and he quickly resolves issues number one. Unfortunately for us during all this Becky my cafe supervisor comes over to tell me that the freezer unit we JUST had fixed is now holding temp at 70 degrees. Not so hot (err cold) for a freezer. So we scurry to call Rent a Center to get back the one we had the previous week and move all the product to the other freezer before we lose temp and we have to throw it out.
7:30 ish I start getting the housekeeping assignments for the day and realize that with the impromptu group of Nipsco guys (30 rooms for 3 nights!) that came in unexpectedly last night I'm already understaffed by 1 person when I get a call off from one of my housekeepers. Bummer. I am now down 2.
7:40ish I get a call from the laundry attendant stating that a belt broke on our industrial size dryer. Fantastic. Herman gets called to the rescue again.
Meanwhile I get a power outage flicker that was not devastating but just enough to make it neccessary to reboot my entire computer system and set me back on RE-making the housekeeping assignments after the call off. During this reboot I decide it's probably best to give my GM a heads up on the mornings activities. She of course is fantastic and says that she'll come in and help clean rooms (what a saint!) but we decide to see if we can call anyone in from another hotel first.
Multiple phone calls later there is NO one that will come in to help us and my my phone rings with oh yes, the SECOND housekeeper calling off. What does this mean?! This means that I am now down THREE people and my poor 7 month pregnant housekeeper who WAS scheduled to inspect will now have to clean rooms and I will have to inspect after my desk shift.
FML. A couple more power flickers later and I can inspect a ton of rooms and go home.
What awaited me the next day?! Oh yes, two more housekeepers called off so my GM and I got to clean a board of 12 rooms.
Not bad for my first day alone.. besides it was just another day in the life of a Hotel Manager..
I Walked 12 Miles for Russel Brand?! UGH!
Lets not confuse my confidence with cockiness here but I've got a lot of great things to say. If you're one of the privileged few who get to hang around me on a regular basis this blog will suit you for nothing more than an occasional shout out. The rest of you are in for a treat!
Day 1 of blogging. Where to begin?! Today I'm blessed with not having to work which is good, but it's a monsoon outside of the apartment which is bad. On the other hand I've pushed my undomesticated self to go grocery shopping so there is NO REAL REASON to leave the house unless I want to confirm to my fellow apartment neighbors that I am not in fact a hermit. (Again, no REAL reason to leave the house) End result? Sit back and contemplate yesterday's activities.
Last night I went with Eric to see my dearest friend Shara. We ended up having dinner at the Lucky Monk where we had a refreshingly awesome waitress (although she didn't have a name tag so no one knows who this mystery lady is!) who was awesome enough to recommend so delicious food and was brutally honest about steering us away from other items.
After that we went to AMC 30 to go see GET HIM TO THE GREEK. Let me first start out by saying that this theater was bigger than the Merrillville Mall. We parked (around 8pm) 600 yards away and trekked all the way up to the front row of parking and found roughly 3000 handicapped parking spots up front. At first we pondered how the city of Schaumberg even HAD this many handicapped people but then moved onto the fact that even parking in the front row left you with a 200 yard walk across the biggest concrete pond known to man!
Around 8:07pm we finally get to the entrance and walk up to purchase tickets. This is nothing more than an illusion of closeness to the actual movie. With NO ONE IN THE BUILDING we were still forced to walk through their assembled Que line for 6 rows back and forth and back and forth and back and forth all the way up to the movie window. We purchase ridiculously expensive tickets and move into the next room that one would think is the lobby.
8:15 and we only have fifteen minutes left before the movie starts (poor Shara is in heels for this marathon!) we walk 6 steps past the lady who gave us our newly purchased tickets to walk up to a man at a gate checking tickets. If they stretched out their hands I'm pretty sure they could touch... so obviously this was a serious checkpoint.
8:16pm I look up ahead and waaaaaaaaaay in the distance I can see a pop corn stand. 8:19 we're in line and pay $23.00 for the smallest bag of popcorn and 3 icee drinks. I then turn to the girl and ask her where we go for our theater and I swear she responds "Gate 27". Ok maybe she pointed and said "Screen 27" but we look down a 2 miles hallway and can only see the sign for Screen 18 before it bends and we lose visualization of our end destination.
Eric goes for the bathroom since this will be a long trip and us girls start our trek. Around Gate 18 we consider taking off our shoes..... we veer right and way in the distance- there it is! GATE 27! It is now 8:30 and the movie has started. We walk another unneccessarily long ramp up to the seats and plop down three rows from the back dead center. FINALLY!
Room gets dark.. more weary travelers are filing in. Previws start and we're a go!
Lets Tarintino this back to dinner for a sec when Eric and Shara are talking about going to see GET HIM TO THE GREEK. My thoughts were... "yeah it looks ok but i'm pretty sure that Russel Brandt plays the same character in EVERY movie. Couples Retreat, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, this one.. they all look like the same damn guy so i'm pretty sure that other than a minor plot twist I've already seen this."
Back to theater- What's the main character's name!? ALDOUS SNOW! Who is he!? THE EXACT GUY FORM FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL! Infact! Kristin Bell makes a cameo appearance AS SARAH MARSHALL! uggggggggggggggggh. Thank you Russel Brandt for making the same damn movie 3 times now. Screw you. I want my $8.50 back from you personally.
The movie is mediocre at best. There were some hilarious lines but they were scattered throughout at best. Not to mention is this fancy schmancy theater the sound proofing was bad and I heard every bass line and every gun that went off in whatever action movie was playing over at Gate 26.
Movie is the same as all the rest. Poor group of people is having not the best situation in life. (ie. dead end job- get him to the greek, rough patch in marriage couples retreat, about to be married- the hang over, bad break up - forgetting sarah marshall). They do some crazy event to get over it. IE. Book a rediculous show, go on a vacation, bachelor party, another vacation)
They party and have rediculous stories to tell about how they got drunk/high/laid/whatever.
They end some sort of apology or reconcilliation to the other party and go on living their happy normal life. End scene of all four of those movies. Great.
We walk 6 miles back to the car and talk about how Zombieland was amazing...
Day 1 of blogging. Where to begin?! Today I'm blessed with not having to work which is good, but it's a monsoon outside of the apartment which is bad. On the other hand I've pushed my undomesticated self to go grocery shopping so there is NO REAL REASON to leave the house unless I want to confirm to my fellow apartment neighbors that I am not in fact a hermit. (Again, no REAL reason to leave the house) End result? Sit back and contemplate yesterday's activities.
Last night I went with Eric to see my dearest friend Shara. We ended up having dinner at the Lucky Monk where we had a refreshingly awesome waitress (although she didn't have a name tag so no one knows who this mystery lady is!) who was awesome enough to recommend so delicious food and was brutally honest about steering us away from other items.
After that we went to AMC 30 to go see GET HIM TO THE GREEK. Let me first start out by saying that this theater was bigger than the Merrillville Mall. We parked (around 8pm) 600 yards away and trekked all the way up to the front row of parking and found roughly 3000 handicapped parking spots up front. At first we pondered how the city of Schaumberg even HAD this many handicapped people but then moved onto the fact that even parking in the front row left you with a 200 yard walk across the biggest concrete pond known to man!
Around 8:07pm we finally get to the entrance and walk up to purchase tickets. This is nothing more than an illusion of closeness to the actual movie. With NO ONE IN THE BUILDING we were still forced to walk through their assembled Que line for 6 rows back and forth and back and forth and back and forth all the way up to the movie window. We purchase ridiculously expensive tickets and move into the next room that one would think is the lobby.
8:15 and we only have fifteen minutes left before the movie starts (poor Shara is in heels for this marathon!) we walk 6 steps past the lady who gave us our newly purchased tickets to walk up to a man at a gate checking tickets. If they stretched out their hands I'm pretty sure they could touch... so obviously this was a serious checkpoint.
8:16pm I look up ahead and waaaaaaaaaay in the distance I can see a pop corn stand. 8:19 we're in line and pay $23.00 for the smallest bag of popcorn and 3 icee drinks. I then turn to the girl and ask her where we go for our theater and I swear she responds "Gate 27". Ok maybe she pointed and said "Screen 27" but we look down a 2 miles hallway and can only see the sign for Screen 18 before it bends and we lose visualization of our end destination.
Eric goes for the bathroom since this will be a long trip and us girls start our trek. Around Gate 18 we consider taking off our shoes..... we veer right and way in the distance- there it is! GATE 27! It is now 8:30 and the movie has started. We walk another unneccessarily long ramp up to the seats and plop down three rows from the back dead center. FINALLY!
Room gets dark.. more weary travelers are filing in. Previws start and we're a go!
Lets Tarintino this back to dinner for a sec when Eric and Shara are talking about going to see GET HIM TO THE GREEK. My thoughts were... "yeah it looks ok but i'm pretty sure that Russel Brandt plays the same character in EVERY movie. Couples Retreat, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, this one.. they all look like the same damn guy so i'm pretty sure that other than a minor plot twist I've already seen this."
Back to theater- What's the main character's name!? ALDOUS SNOW! Who is he!? THE EXACT GUY FORM FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL! Infact! Kristin Bell makes a cameo appearance AS SARAH MARSHALL! uggggggggggggggggh. Thank you Russel Brandt for making the same damn movie 3 times now. Screw you. I want my $8.50 back from you personally.
The movie is mediocre at best. There were some hilarious lines but they were scattered throughout at best. Not to mention is this fancy schmancy theater the sound proofing was bad and I heard every bass line and every gun that went off in whatever action movie was playing over at Gate 26.
Movie is the same as all the rest. Poor group of people is having not the best situation in life. (ie. dead end job- get him to the greek, rough patch in marriage couples retreat, about to be married- the hang over, bad break up - forgetting sarah marshall). They do some crazy event to get over it. IE. Book a rediculous show, go on a vacation, bachelor party, another vacation)
They party and have rediculous stories to tell about how they got drunk/high/laid/whatever.
They end some sort of apology or reconcilliation to the other party and go on living their happy normal life. End scene of all four of those movies. Great.
We walk 6 miles back to the car and talk about how Zombieland was amazing...
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